Its okay not to be okay

This post here goes out to all the mums who are struggling. To the mum who had next to no sleep last night. To the mum who has been up since 5am. To the mum who has told their child off several times already this morning. To the mum who has picked up countless toys and washed countless bottles. To the mum who is hiding in the bathroom. To the mum who feels like giving up, its okay to not be okay.

As a mum we do nothing but love and care for our children 24 hours of the day 7 days a week. It is a full time job except their is no sick days, or holidays and you don't get paid to do this. Nobody can prepare you for motherhood. No one can prepare you for the long nights, the lack of sleep and constant worry that you feel, am I good enough? Is my child happy? What can I do better. Some days I stand there over Alice's cot and watch her peacefully sleeping and think to myself "Mummy will try better tomorrow".

Some days I get dressed, others I don't. Some days I leave the house and other days I stay in. Some days my house is spotless other days I let it slide. Some days my child is played with, read to and sung to other days I sit her in front of the TV for the most part. We've all been there. Some days you feel like your on top of the world and you think I've got this whole motherhood shit and others day you break down several times wondering if will ever get easier and thats okay. We are all human. We all have those days where we feel like we can't cope, and there comes a time where we all reach breaking point and we sit there and we cry. We cry because we feel like we failed our children. We cry because we feel like they deserve a better mum. We cry because we're tired and worn out and that we dedicate our life to looking our children but who looks after us?

Some days I fake a smile and pretend that everything is okay when deep down its not. Deep down I want to go back to bed and block the world out. I feel awful for even thinking that. I should want to get up and spend time with my child and play with them, but some days I just don't feel like it. I think to myself I don't feel like being a mum today and that makes me feel even worse that I would even think that but its the truth. You can't hid from the truth. You can put a brave face on but what does that achieve? lying to yourself that your okay. Nothing. It achieves nothing. You don't have to hid behind a smile, no one is going to judge you if you cry. No one is going to think your a bad mum for wanting 5 minutes to yourself. We are all drowning in this sea of motherhood desperately trying to gasp for air.  The shore seems far away and you long for the coast guard to come rescue you but as the days go on and you drift further and further out to sea you begin to get tired and you feel as though you can't carry on but thats okay because once you've hit rock bottom the only place to go is up.  Motherhood is one of the most challenging journeys you will ever go through and we all strive to do our best for our children day and day out but sometimes it all gets little bit too much and thats when its okay not to okay.

The Honest Mum 

xox 

We all have our down days but if they persist then please reach out to your doctor, your midwife or health visitor and seek advice because although its okay not to be okay if you are constantly feeling down then seek medical advice as it could be postnatal depression. Don't suffer alone and get the help you need. For more information on postnatal depression or if you think you may have it look on the NHS website for support on where to go for help.