Things every parent has thought whilst watching Bing

Its the start of a brand new day and I am sat downstairs with Alice and I flick on the TV and turn it over to Cbeebies where I hear 'My names Bing and i'm on CBEEBIES!' and think oh great its time for Bing.

Alice loves Bing the lovable bunny and although its not one of the worst programmes that is shown on Cbeebies such as 'In the night garden' or 'The Teletubbies' I find the show quite bizarre and sure many of you do to, I get that it is a childrens TV show but there are just some things that don't make any sense for example:

1. What an earth are Flop, Amar and Paget? Are they teddy bears? Are they Bing, Zula and Pando's mum or dad? If they are then why are they half the size of Bing, Zula and Pando? If they are their parents then where is Bings mum and Zula and Pando's dad? Flop, Amar and Paget seem to be their parents but they never call them mum or dad so who knows!

2. Secondly why does Bing never talk properly? I understand that he is meant to be a small child possibly a toddler and hasn't learnt how to talk properly but it doesn't send out a good message to children when he is saying things like "decolorating"  '"falled" and " stealed" because children will copy and start saying them too!

3. Everything is always a Bing thing, like baking its a bing thing, slides its a bing thing and fireworks its a bing thing. Now it doesn't take a genius to work out that all those things that Flop is claiming to be a 'Bing thing' were done many years before bing was even created!

4. Lets talk Pando. I mean whats up with Pando and why is he never wearing any trousers?! He takes them off anywhere he feels like, the other day he took them off in the middle of the park and his carer/mum/who ever the hell she is Paget didn't even question it and just picked them up of the floor! He even removes them in the title sequence. Not a great message you want to be portraying to kids that they can just strip off whenever they feel like!

5. When the title sequence starts we see Coco and Charlie outside Bings house with a teddy/dad/mum/whatever the hell they are who is red, they are on the phone and get in a car and just abandon Coco and Charlie and they are never to be seen again, I haven't seen them in any episodes. Quite often Coco and Charlie come round to Bings but the red teddy/mum/dad/whoever the hell it is never seems to make an appearance

6.  Why has everything got a name in Bings house for example the hoover is called "voo voo" the picnic basket is called "wheelie" why can't it just be called a picnic basket and a hoover! Who knows, I guess calling them there actual name would make too much sense.

7. Something else that baffles me is that Bing, Coco, Charlie, Pando and Zula seem to be the only animals of that size in the whole town. The rest of the town seems to be populated with those weird walking teddies that seem to run everything in the town like the shop ETC... but then there is a cat called Arlo who seems to be a pet that lives outside the shop. Bing is a bunny so wouldn't he also be a pet but somehow he has the ability to walk and talk like a human?!?

8. No matter how many times you watch it Bing is really a quite badly behaved little bunny. He never listens in the first episode he doesn't listen to Flop and runs outside and gets frightened by the fireworks, he also pops ballonie when Flop told him not to jump on him like that. Bing also gets his book wet in the bath after being told books don't like baths. Bing is also impatient and walks in front of the swing and gets hit by Pando, he hits Zula when she takes Hoppity away from him. He also puts Zula's shoe down the toilet so she can't leave! Not the kind of message you want to send to your children!

Although Bing is a very obscure programme which sometimes gives out the wrong the message, I can't help but find myself singing sliding down the rainybow and saying "Its a bing thing" more often that not. I don't think I will ever understand the quirky and the weird things that goes on in Bing but Alice seems to love it and like I said before there are much worse things she could be watching on the TV!

Not understanding the weird shit that goes on in Bing... Its a Bing thing!

The Honest Mum 

xox

What do you do all day?

Ah maternity leave, a time for basking in the joy of your new bundle of joy. A time for you to relax and settle into motherhood. Well thats what I thought it was going to be like but instead I find myself knee deep in nappies, still in my pjs at 3pm and watching Bing for the 100th time today.

For those of you that worked before you had your baby you will 100% understand where I am coming from when I write this post, those of you who didn't work will still be able to relate to this post on many levels.

Ever since I had Alice 6 months ago all I ever seemed to get asked lately is 'what do you do with all your time? You must be bored at home by now, I bet you can't wait to go back to work' and when people say things like that I don't quite think they understand just how much I do in one day, granted yes most of the time I am at home all day but I am by far sat there doing nothing. So I thought I would give you all an insight into my day.

6AM: Alice wakes up screaming. Go into Alice's room and try to settle her back to sleep.

6:30AM: finally get up because there is no chance of Alice going back to sleep. Try and go to the loo but Alice is screaming so much I give up hope.

7AM: Change Alice's nappy and give her a bottle

7:30AM: try and eat breakfast but give up as Alice just wants to be held. Entertain Alice (shake a load of noisy toys around and until she stops crying)

8AM: try again to eat my breakfast that is now soggy

8:30AM: wash Alices bottles

9AM: change Alices nappy again and watch Cbeebies

11AM: fight with Alice to get her to sleep again as shes clearly tired but wont sleep

12PM: finally get Alice to sleep and yet again wash more bottles

1PM: attempt to tidy the house but give up and sit on the sofa watching tv whilst eating junk food

2PM: Alice wakes up and then I get annoyed at myself that I haven't done any house work whilst shes asleep

3PM: change Alice's nappy again and feed Alice

4PM: watch more Cbeebies whilst I try to tidy up

5PM: give up with the house work and crash on the sofa and receive a call from James saying he'll be home soon.

6PM: run around like a headless chicken trying to make the house look half decent

6:30PM: put Alice in the bath and get her ready for bed.

7PM: settle Alice and put her to bed

7:30PM: Make dinner for me and James and wash bottles again.

8PM: sit down to eat dinner. Alice starts crying. Put down dinner and spend an hour trying to settle.

10PM: collapse in bed.

I thought before I had Alice that my job was the hardest job I had but turns out being a mother is so much harder. There is no lunch breaks or coffee breaks. No holidays. It is getting up everyday and watching countless kids programmes, endless nappies and cleaning bottles. It is singing nursery rhymes and playing with toys. If you are ill there are no sick days. No matter how you feel you have to get up with a smile on your face because your child needs you. It is so hard but when you see them smile for the first time, roll over the first time, say their first word it make its all worth it.

Stay at home mums don't have it easy, we don't just sit at home all day watching tv, we are always on the go always doing a million and one things. So many people ask me what I do with my day and I always say 'what don't I do with my day?'

Love The Honest Mum 

xox

Happy holidays or holiday from hell?

Ah holidays, the thing we look forward too all year long. We count down the days, go holiday shopping and dream of laying on the beach, sun in our faces without a care in the world. However this year our holiday was nothing like that.

Picture this, its 100 degree's, 4 adults and 3 children aged 4 months old, 7 years old and 10 years old set off on holiday at 4am, one car and one van because we have that much stuff we had to rent a van. After several hours and stopping to let my niece be sick in a lay by we arrive at Haven holiday park in Hastings where the 7 of us will live in close quarters for the next 7 days in a caravan. It sounds like a nightmare doesn't 7 people living on top of each other 2 toilets and one tv. Myself and James had the double bedroom, my two nieces shared one room, my mum and Alice shared another and my brother slept in the lounge.

The first day when we arrived it was only half pasted 7 in the morning so nothing was open not even reception so we decided to all head down to the beach in Hastings, my two nieces extremely excited to be on holiday blowing up their rubber rings to go in the sea. Alice was not all that happy as she had been up since 3am and was sick of being in the car. We parked up, grabbed everything but the kitchen sink and set up camp on the beach. My nieces were unhappy as there was no sand on the beach only stones so they couldn't build any sandcastles however we still had fun and even Alice went for a dip in the sea but she was not impressed! After arguing for several minutes with my nieces about putting on sun cream we were finally ready for some fun in the sun. After some gentle persuasion I even managed to get James to come in the sea which is rarity and where he shortly after got stung by a jellyfish, just his luck! My nieces then decided they no longer wanted to swim in the jellyfish infested waters so we packed up all our things and headed back to the campsite.

By the time we got back to the campsite the pool was now open so we went to reception to get our passes and decided to go for a swim. When we arrived at the pool it was your typical british holiday scene, both the indoor and outdoor pool were packed like sardines, there was no where to sit and it was really loud and noisy. After spending a few hours in the pool finally our caravan was ready. We went in and relaxed for the rest of the day whilst my younger niece decorated her's and her cousins bedroom with cat things because she is cat mad, she brought everything but the kitchen sink I kid you not she even brought a cat draught excluder!

The first night went well and Alice slept all the way through because she was exhausted, my nieces got up super early which came back to bite us later in the day when they were very tired and moody later that night. That night we decided to go down to the kids entertainment but Alice stayed at the caravan with James as she would of hated, neither of my nieces would join in and wanted to go in the arcade more than anything!

The rest of the holiday flew by and before we knew it we were on our way home, stuck in traffic, Alice had pooed and I had sang baby shark the 100th time whilst my nieces argued over the name of an Abba song and our holiday had come to an end!

Would I do it again? Questionable. I feel that Alice was a little too young to go on holiday and struggled with the change in routine. I know she wont remember it but James and I will and one day when she's older we will tell all about her first holiday and how much of a nightmare it was. Looking back at it now it was a nightmare but was also a lot of fun, I haven't documented it all in this post just  a few of things that happened but I just wanted to share with you all some memories of Alice's first holiday!

Love The Honest Mum 

xox 

You are not alone

Having a baby is one of the most life changing journeys you will ever embark on and it doesn't matter what age you are nothing can quite prepare you for parenthood.

When I found out I was having a baby I was happy and scared at the same time, I couldn't wait to bask in my newborn baby and dress them in sweet little outfits and meet other mums and go out for coffee whilst my baby blissfully slept in their pushchair, it sounded ideal. I couldn't wait to meet my baby for the first time and feel that instant love and pure joy when you finally get to see them but it didn't exactly go like that the midwife showed me baby Alice and I looked at her and thought, is that my baby? And to be quite truthful I thought she was gross (anyone who says their baby looks cute the second they are born are probably lying) and thats when the panic set in. I am now responsible for this baby for the next however many years and it scared me it really did. Don't get me wrong I loved her with everything I had but when I had a baby I don't think I quite realised how hard it was going to be. 

It doesn't matter if your a single mum, single dad, a couple or living with your family no matter who you are the first few weeks of parenthood are the hardest and no one can prepare you for it. You feel like your life has been taken over by this new baby, you can't remember your life before you had a baby. You feel like the soul purpose of your life now is to wash bottles and change nappies. You are constantly exhausted and all your baby seems to do is cry, you start to question if your good enough for them. You feel like a failure. All you want to do is just sleep for 12 hours and block out the world. You feel like nobody understands you and what you are going through. 

The days go on by and day by day you somehow manage to muddle through. Just when you think you are starting to get into a routine and understand your baby something throws you off balance and you are right back to square one feeling like a failure again. You care about your baby its clear to see as you do the necessary things to keep them alive but deep down you feel as though they would be better off without you. You look at your small innocent baby laying there looking at you with such love in there eyes and you think to yourself it doesn't matter how hard it gets you have to keep going  because they need you, so you pick yourself and you carry on. 

4 months in and it hasn't got any easier but at the same time it hasn't got any harder. 4 months ago I thought I couldn't do it and look at me now, I am surviving because I know she needs me and I can't give up on her. So it doesn't matter who you are or how much support you have because I have all the support in the world we are all struggling, some more than others but we are. So before you stare at the mum walking round the supermarket who's child is screaming and judge them just remember that you have no idea how much they are struggling right now, so give them a friendly smile and show them some support. Reach out to a friend who has been quite for a while. Make an effort to see people who have children so they know they are not alone. I am very fortunate to have such a good neighbour who is now my best friend who also has a baby and since become friends we have supported each other in many ways and since then life has got a little bit easier. The most important thing to remember from this though is that it does get better, you are not alone and that you are good enough, don't give up just yet your baby needs you and you need them. 

The Honest Mum

xox

But mummy you can't be ill

So since Alice has been born I have been very fortunate enough to avoid the most dreaded thing that can happen to mum but today it finally happened... I got ill.

Now you may be thinking so what? You are ill everyone gets ill but when you are a mum you do not have time to be ill. You can't be ill when you have a child, there is no going back to bed feeling sorry for yourself and snuggling down watching Netflix, its changing shitty nappies and sterilising bottles whilst your child screams in your ear all day. Alice got up at 3:45am today. Let me repeat that 3:45am. Its like she knew that I was ill and thought I am going to get up ridiculously early today. So there I am sitting in bed watching ten t-rex's in the gym by ABCkidstv (look it up you will not regret it)  with a blocked nose, my throat feels like sandpaper and the day had only just begun. James was leaving for work and I secretly wanted him to stay so he could look after Alice and I could crawl back into bed and die but I knew that wasn't going to happen so I had to just get on and deal with it.

After a few hours of laying in bed suffering ABCkidstv I finally dragged myself out of bed changed Alice's nappy and got her dressed so at least one of us didn't look like a shit tip. As I went to throw nappy in the bin I glanced at the calendar and saw that James grandparents were coming to visit and panicked and ran down stairs (fear not Alice was in her bed safe before you all start calling social services) and the house looked like bomb site. Great.

Several hours later I was lying on my neighbours sofa with Alice, still not dressed and the house was still a mess but I knew I couldn't let them whilst the house looked like this. After 45 minutes of quick tidying and shutting the doors to the bedrooms where I had just shoved all the crap and pulled the doors too so nobody could see I felt worse than ever but there was no time to rest as Alice wanted feeding. Feed over, shitty nappy changed I felt like I could finally sit down and relax but boy was I wrong. Alice was crying uncontrollably for no reason whatsoever and all the while I just wanted to walk away and climb in bed and sleep but I knew I couldn't for Alice. I did many things today such as washing, cleaning and even trying to save bees #BeeEmergency. The day seemed to drag on and finally James arrived home and took over which I was really grateful for, but it got me thinking mums don't have time to be ill unlike dads who take to their bed when their ill but mums just get on with it. I applaud all the single mums who are doing it solo with there kids and when they are ill they have no choice but to get on with it. So heres to all the mums that are ill or have been ill and are just getting on with, one day you will be able to be ill in peace but your kids will be all grown and you'll miss them being tiny and clinging to you so enjoy it while you can even on your bad days.

Love The Honest Mum

xox 

quote of the week: 

'Why the hell are we watching the adverts on a recording' 

You've got a friend in me

Recently I have been spending a lot of time with my next door neighbour which has been really nice, she has a 9 month old little girl who plays with Alice who is 3 months old. I love and hate it, I love it because I have someone to hang out with but also I get to see what I have in store when Alice gets older which at the moment I am not loving after what I've seen!

Since I have been spending more time with her my anxiety has not been so bad, I haven't felt lonely in a long time and I have laughed a lot more. This morning Alice was really screaming so I messaged her and said 'Alice has woken up on the wrong side of the bed' and she instantly replied with 'tea?' so with that I picked up Alice and headed next door in our pj's (which I love because I know she will also be in her pj's so its totally acceptable for me to turn up in cat onesie). When I got round there  a rush of relief hit me, Alice stopped crying and I felt like the day was getting back on track. I drank my tea and we chatted, then I used her shower (because mine is broken and her washing machine is broken so we did an exchange) and we walked to the shop together. Before I started hanging out with neighbour I wouldn't of dreamed of going to the shop because the thought of leaving the house scared me, but since spending time with her I have been to Morrisons, to town and to the corner shop, we've even been out for lunch! I finally feel like my anxiety is subsiding and that I can go places without having a panic attack and honestly it feels great. 

Furthermore sometimes I really struggle with Alice, there are days where she will not stop crying and on one occasion I locked myself in the bathroom for 3 minutes because I couldn't handle it, although these days are very far and few when they do happen it makes me feel like a failure. Living next door to someone who has baby who also has those days has made me feel so much better. I have realised that everyone's children have days like these and sometimes they cannot be prevented. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this and that someone else understands what I am going through. I guess what I am trying to say is that you never know a person, to my neighbour she may not know that I have really bad anxiety and that doing something simple like inviting me round for a cup of tea makes the world of a difference. I don't have many friends but the ones I do have I am very grateful for. So to my neighbour who I know will read this I want to say thanks for all the tea, the laughs, the showers and for also helping out with Alice. Lastly to my neighbour I would just like to quote something a cowboy once famously said you've got a friend in me...

The Honest Mum xox

It's my baby I'll do what I want

Since having Alice I have come to realise that the world and his wife are suddenly all parenting experts. Everyone has an opinion on what I should be doing for my child and it really irritates me. People who don't even have children will pass on comments and I personally feel that it is my child so I will do what I like. Granted most people are just trying to help but sometimes people do not understand that when they poke their noses in sometimes it can hurt.

When you are a mum you are constantly worrying that you are never doing a good enough job for your child and when people judge you and pass on comments about the way you are parenting your child it makes you feel inferior and like you are failing as a mother and nobody should be made to feel like that. I understand that most people do not realise how hurtful their comments can be but especially when you are a first time mum it really knocks your confidence and it makes you question everything you are doing for your baby. Something I have come to realise recently is that no matter what you do people will always have an opinion on what you do, so I do what I feel is best for my child.

In addition I generally find that the people who seem to pass on these comments are people who are older than me and it normally sounds like something like this 'Don't you think you ought to put a blanket on them they'll be cold' or 'Don't leave them on the sofa they'll fall off'. Firstly are you trying to imply that I would let my child freeze to death? Because if so I deserve the worst mother of the year award and secondly they are 2 months old they can't move very far and if they were to somehow magically move to the edge of the sofa and fall off quite frankly i'd be impressed! I think another thing people fail to realise is that a lot of things have changed since they had children so below I have compiled a list of things that you should and shouldn't do in this day an age:

1. Do not let them sleep anyway but on their back because if you force your child to sleep on their back then it reduces the risks of cot death however some babies hate sleeping on back so have fun with months of sleepless nights.
2. Do not share your bed with your baby because you may roll over and squish them also apparently you will have a very clingy toddler but when your baby gets up at 5am for the past week and you are so tired beyond functioning at this point you are willing to try anything,
3. Do not stop sterilising until your baby is at least 1 year old despite the fact from 6 months onwards they sit on the floor and put everything and anything they find on the floor which is probably way worse than not sterilising their bottles. 
4. Do not feed your child food before 6 months because well I am not really sure why? Its just one of those things, don't feed the gremlins after midnight, don't feed the ducks bread and don't feed your child before 6 months. 
5. Do support your babies head for the first year or it will in fact fall off. 
6. Lastly do whatever the hell you like because its your baby.

There are so many rules nowadays when it comes to babies and I struggle to keep up to be honest. Every week their is always something new to be worrying about; like recently someone (who may I add does not even have children) is arguing that we should be asking children's consent to change their nappies. Fuck off. You cannot ask a 1 month old baby 'can I change your nappy' because what are they going to do turn around and 'okay mum sure I consent' they are a baby, I am sure they are just grateful that we are not leaving them sat their in their shit for hours, also I can guarantee if you ask a 2 year old if you can change their nappy it will be firm no so what do you do then? Leave them sitting in shit forever? 

Furthermore this is what I mean by everyone has opinion on how you should do things but everyone else's opinion shouldn't affect the way you bring up your child, you should do what want not what society wants. As Alice gets older I have started to realise that no matter what I do in life someone somewhere who doesn't have children is going to tell me I am doing it all wrong and you know what I am okay with that because its my child and I will do what I want. 

The honest Mum xox 

Lastly I have decided at the end of every blog I am going to add a quote from the week that reflects how my week has gone and this is this weeks quote which I am sure my friend who is most likely reading this will appreciate it so here goes:

'Alice sometimes in life you are going to have to have a dummy that has been stuck to your mums arse because she can't bothered going next door and getting another from the steriliser' 

and thus concludes this week.