You've got a friend in me

Recently I have been spending a lot of time with my next door neighbour which has been really nice, she has a 9 month old little girl who plays with Alice who is 3 months old. I love and hate it, I love it because I have someone to hang out with but also I get to see what I have in store when Alice gets older which at the moment I am not loving after what I've seen!

Since I have been spending more time with her my anxiety has not been so bad, I haven't felt lonely in a long time and I have laughed a lot more. This morning Alice was really screaming so I messaged her and said 'Alice has woken up on the wrong side of the bed' and she instantly replied with 'tea?' so with that I picked up Alice and headed next door in our pj's (which I love because I know she will also be in her pj's so its totally acceptable for me to turn up in cat onesie). When I got round there  a rush of relief hit me, Alice stopped crying and I felt like the day was getting back on track. I drank my tea and we chatted, then I used her shower (because mine is broken and her washing machine is broken so we did an exchange) and we walked to the shop together. Before I started hanging out with neighbour I wouldn't of dreamed of going to the shop because the thought of leaving the house scared me, but since spending time with her I have been to Morrisons, to town and to the corner shop, we've even been out for lunch! I finally feel like my anxiety is subsiding and that I can go places without having a panic attack and honestly it feels great. 

Furthermore sometimes I really struggle with Alice, there are days where she will not stop crying and on one occasion I locked myself in the bathroom for 3 minutes because I couldn't handle it, although these days are very far and few when they do happen it makes me feel like a failure. Living next door to someone who has baby who also has those days has made me feel so much better. I have realised that everyone's children have days like these and sometimes they cannot be prevented. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this and that someone else understands what I am going through. I guess what I am trying to say is that you never know a person, to my neighbour she may not know that I have really bad anxiety and that doing something simple like inviting me round for a cup of tea makes the world of a difference. I don't have many friends but the ones I do have I am very grateful for. So to my neighbour who I know will read this I want to say thanks for all the tea, the laughs, the showers and for also helping out with Alice. Lastly to my neighbour I would just like to quote something a cowboy once famously said you've got a friend in me...

The Honest Mum xox