It is 5am. Mummy and daddy are sleeping ever so peacefully after I had them up 7-8 times in the night. I could be nice and let them sleep in but I want to get up now so if I have too everyone has too, so I am going to start screaming the place down until someone comes in and has to get up with me. The sun hasn't even risen properly yet and I am ready to face the day, remember that bowl you left in the living room last night when you too tired to take it out to the kitchen? I am having that, along with that cup as well. TV remote? I have earmarked that too. Basically everything and anything I shouldn't have I am going to have it. An hour has now gone by and oh goody its time for CBeebies. I will watch this for approximately 5 whole minutes before getting bored and then I shall sit by your feet and whinge because I want your phone. After 10 minutes of solid complaining mum will give me her phone and I will press loads of buttons, take loads of photos of the floor and get you locked out your phone. It is now time for breakfast, the most important meal of the day. However because I got up so early I am now grumpy and tired and do not want whatever you are going to make me. Mum serves me breakfast and I take one look at it and throw it on the floor, jam on toast what was she thinking? That is so yesterdays breakfast, I don't like it anymore. 20 minutes later and I haven't touched the jam on toast so mum comes over and wait a minute whats she doing, wait no don't take it away I want that. I whinge for another 5 minutes as mum tries to take away my breakfast and says things like "well are you eating it or not" we both full well know that I am not going to eat but I like to keep mum on her toes with suspense. Mum eventually gives up and just leaves me to smoosh the toast into carpet as it is more hassle to clean it up than it is to leave it there. Mum will now get herself some breakfast, but mums breakfast looks better than mine. So I will climb all over mum and scream and cry until she gives in and lets me have some, she always says sharing is caring anyway! Half of mums breakfast demolished and its time for more CBeebies, the trick is with watching TV is to make sure that you are not paying enough attention to watch it fully but you go into full meltdown mode if mum changes the channel, thats my favourite game to play, especially when the shows mummy hates are on! Its now 9am and mum thinks I am getting tired, which I am not by the way and suggests I go for a nap. A nap, at this time? She must be crazy right. Mum persists and takes me through to my room and I will cry and protest before she even puts me in the cot. Mum then closes the curtains, puts my dummy in and switches on the mobile. Mum then closes the door and says sleep well I will see you in a few hours, when we both know we will be meeting in exactly 2 minutes time. After screaming and crying and fighting it for nearly hour turns out I was tired and I have now gone for a few hours sleep. I have now been asleep for a few hours and mum has just sat down with a hot cup of tea for once so I think now is the perfect time to wake up obviously! After screaming the house down mum came and got me and took me through to the living room where I got out not one but all of the noisy toys, these toys are mums favourite as they all play a different tune and there is always one that doesn't have an on/off switch! I play with the noisy toys for an hour until mum gets sick of them and switches them all off and says it's time to have lunch. Great lunch time, mum will without a doubt put more fruit and vegetables on my plate hoping that I will like cucumber for the 100th time. Mum will spend half an hour in there prepping and making my lunch look pleasing to the eye and I, I will throw it on the floor the second you give it to me and cry until you feed me a yoghurt or two... Mum is now cleaning up the lunch of the floor and I am trying to be helpful by picking up pieces of food and hiding it in all the best places, like under the sofa or in my toys, I can guarantee though mum won't appreciate my help and will tell me off later when she clears under the sofa. It's now the afternoon and I am grouchy and tired but mum says I can't have a sleep now as I won't sleep tonight, I don't know why she says this because she knows I won't sleep anyway. Mum gets out some more toys but this time she gets out the fidely toys such as the Duplo and the building blocks, I don't care for these toys as I am a one year old and I do not have the ability to stack things on top of one and another however what I do have the ability to do is destroy everything mum makes and then I get told off because apparently its not nice to knock down mums tower! I bash a few blocks together and then begin throwing them round the house ensuring that they are scattered about everywhere so that later mum will step on them and start cursing the day they came into the house. Its now about 5 o'clock and mum is trying to make me dinner but I am having none of it, all of sudden I am a clingy and miserable child who just wants to be held, this is also known as the witching hour. I am tired, hungry and I want your undivided attention causing you to almost burn the dinner. Mum makes me dinner and straps me into the high chair and I see that as an opportunity to redecorate the whole room, more food ends up on the floor than in my mouth but by this time mummy has full given up and has shoved something sweet on my tray just so she can have a wee in peace. After dinner comes bath time, I have a love hate relationship with bath time because I love to splash about and play but I hate getting washed, especially my hair and I will scream as if I am being murdered if you get water in my eyes. We get out the bath and mummy spends half an hour fighting to get me dressed as I try and crawl at every opportunity. There is water, talc and sudocream everywhere but I am finally clean and dry. Mum takes me back through to living room where we cuddle on the sofa and watch the CBeebies bedtime hour, I say cuddle but its more like mum trying to cuddle me and me grabbing her hair, glasses and hitting her. We settle down for the evening and mum gives me milk, I make sure to shake the bottle and get milk everywhere particularly on my clean new sleep suit mum just put on. I drink my milk and mum takes me through to my room where I kick and scream and shout about going to bed. Mum persists and puts me in my bed and I throw my dummy out the cot several times so mum has to come back in after half or so I start to become sleepy, I try to fight it but eventually I drift off to sleep. I fall asleep knowing I will wake up several times in the night but thats okay because I think secretly mum likes our 3am catch ups right? I had such a fun filled day and I can't wait to do it all over again, however I think mummy may need some time to recover. This has been the day in the life of a one year old, I hope you have enjoyed it!
The Honest Mum
xoxo
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