The best way to budget as a family

Living on your own can be tough and it's even tougher trying to budget for the month. I have been living with my partner for 3 years now and for the last year we have also got our little girl who is now one with us, and we recently got a cat so we sat down and worked out our all our finances and I wanted to share my best tips and tricks with you all!



The method I use to work out our monthly allowance is based on our main income which is universal credit and my partners pay. We get paid sporadically through the month so we need to be extra careful on what we spend as it can be very easy to spend all your money as you just think to yourself its okay I will get paid again next week, which is a big mistake, yes you may get paid next week but remember that money needs to last you the month. So here are my hints, tips and tricks to help you budget and survive the financial month!

1. The first thing that we did is get a normal lined notepad and we started by writing down how much money comes in monthly, what date it comes in and how much it will be. 
2. The next thing we did was write down all our monthly out going including; food, petrol, cat food, litter and all of our bills. Make sure that you included all of the bills like Netflix and Amazon Prime if you  use anything like that! 
3. After that we then calculated how much money we had coming in all together and how much money we needed to spend on outgoings this month, we subtracted the amount we need to spend from the total cost of our in goings and was then left with the figure that is what we call left over or spare money. The left over money was to go away in our savings account and to not be touched until all rent, bills and food had been paid for the month. 
4. To make life easier we then got a large A4 2019 diary where we would write down on certain days when we were getting paid money, for instance if we were getting paid £100 on the 2nd of May we would put- £100 from so and so. Once the money went into the account we would then tick it off so we knew we had been paid it. 
5. Something else that we did with the diary was that we put down when all the bills needed to be paid on there set dates so we could turn to the diary and go oh the council tax needs to be paid next Wednesday and then once we had paid the bill we would then tick it off.  
6. Make sure you always keep a track of your outgoings even if it is just sausage roll and tea from Gregs write it down as its helpful to see where the money goes at the end of the month. 
7. Don't spend unnecessary money and make smarter choices such as taking pack lunch out instead of buying lunch as it is much cheaper. Remember to bring your own carrier bags when shopping. Go weekly shopping and buy all the essentials for the week so you don't make lots of trips to different shops and spend more money than needed. 
8. Think about where you food shop- you may shop in Morrisons or Tesco's but it much cheaper to go to places like Lidl and Aldi, you can get much cheaper products for the same quality and you will save yourself a fortune. Since shopping at Aldi we have saved an average £60 a week on our food shop. 
9. Plan meals- planning meals is another great way to budget, write a weekly schedule of what dinners you are going to make. For example I will plan the week and if one night I am going to make spag bowl then I will make a larger batch and freeze half for next week therefore when you go weekly shopping you are buying not only this week meal but you are buying enough to make left overs for next week. 
10. cut down all your expenses when possible- think about money you spend weekly like bus fares, could you walk instead of taking the bus? Bulk buy things such as toilet rolls ect when they are on sale to save a few pennies. Switch off all your plugs and leave nothing on standby at night, that will help to cut down your electric bill. Lastly think wisely before spending money, think do you really need that new piece of clothing or do I need to buy anymore cleaning products, use what you have in the house first before buying anymore of something. 

It is so easy in this day and age to fritter away money, especially with contactless cards but its also easy to sit down and budget for the month, it doesn't take very long and you will be surprised at how much money is left at the end of the month after paying for all the necessities and it will help in the long run as you will be able to save it away for a rainy day. If you have anymore budgeting tips and tricks then comment them down bellow and lets all help each other to be a bit more money smart! 

The Honest Mum 

xoxo

Its okay not be okay

As it mental health awareness week I wanted to write a special post to emphasis that its okay not to be okay, so I hope you enjoy it!

All too often you hear people say its okay to not be okay, but when you look at social media and see people happy and looking so pleased, with friends and their laughing, all the while they may even show you a little smile. They snap their holidays and their pets too, you follow their journey but if only you knew, just what goes on behind closed doors, they may be smiling on the outside but the rain may pour, it may pour over their head and be dragging them down but how would people know if they never make a sound? People may show the best of their life but its no good showing the best when you're in a constant fight, a fight with your head and your feelings too, if only you knew just how much others are struggling too. See you're not the only one who is fighting a battle, there's lots of people out there who are facing struggles, you just need to reach out and connect to them too, and maybe just maybe they may help you. We can't fight our battles all alone, we can try our very best but its like a war zone, a war that can't be won by yourself, its okay if you need to ask for help. No one will judge you for reaching out, in fact most people will applaud you for stepping out, and showing the world that life can be tough, but sometimes its okay to say that enough is enough, so when the time comes to approach someone for help remember that everyone has got things going on themselves. You may see the best of peoples life online but remember people only share what they think is alright, to share on the internet with all of their friends, they don't share the struggles because they are scared of what people will send, like being told they are just attention seeking or that they are overreacting and acting like a baby, but comments like this will drag people down and they don't  need hate they need people around, to pick them up off the floor when they are down, to cheer them up and to show them how, life is not all bad and we all have our struggles, so remember next time when your life gets in a muddle, that we are all piecing ourselves back together like a puzzle, no one is perfect no matter what you see, we all have our battles you see, our mental health doesn't define who we are, its just a part of us, its just a battle scar, to show the world that we are all tough, so enough is enough. Stop hiding your true self behind the screen, be open and honest and show the world what it really means, to live with mental health day by day, so next time you post a status or a picture make sure to say that you live with your mental health and that it is okay, so many people are sacred to speak out but we shouldn't be scared we should be able to shout from the top of the roof tops from our mouths that its okay not to be okay.

The Honest Mum 

xoxo

A day in life of a one year old!

My name is Alice and I am a one year old, I live with my mummy, my daddy and my cat Paddington. This post is all about a typical day in life of being a one year old I hope you enjoy!

It is 5am. Mummy and daddy are sleeping ever so peacefully after I had them up 7-8 times in the night. I could be nice and let them sleep in but I want to get up now so if I have too everyone has too, so I am going to start screaming the place down until someone comes in and has to get up with me. The sun hasn't even risen properly yet and I am ready to face the day, remember that bowl you left in the living room last night when you too tired to take it out to the kitchen? I am having that, along with that cup as well. TV remote? I have earmarked that too. Basically everything and anything I shouldn't have I am going to have it. An hour has now gone by and oh goody its time for CBeebies. I will watch this for approximately 5 whole minutes before getting bored and then I shall sit by your feet and whinge because I want your phone. After 10 minutes of solid complaining mum will give me her phone and I will press loads of buttons, take loads of photos of the floor and get you locked out your phone. It is now time for breakfast, the most important meal of the day. However because I got up so early I am now grumpy and tired and do not want whatever you are going to make me. Mum serves me breakfast and I take one look at it and throw it on the floor, jam on toast what was she thinking? That is so yesterdays breakfast, I don't like it anymore. 20 minutes later and I haven't touched the jam on toast so mum comes over and wait a minute whats she doing, wait no don't take it away I want that. I whinge for another 5 minutes as mum tries to take away my breakfast and says things like "well are you eating it or not" we both full well know that I am not going to eat but I like to keep mum on her toes with suspense. Mum eventually gives up and just leaves me to smoosh the toast into carpet as it is more hassle to clean it up than it is to leave it there. Mum will now get herself some breakfast, but mums breakfast looks better than mine. So I will climb all over mum and scream and cry until she gives in and lets me have some, she always says sharing is caring anyway! Half of mums breakfast demolished and its time for more CBeebies, the trick is with watching TV is to make sure that you are not paying enough attention to watch it fully but you go into full meltdown mode if mum changes the channel, thats my favourite game to play, especially when the shows mummy hates are on! Its now 9am and mum thinks I am getting tired, which I am not by the way and suggests I go for a nap. A nap, at this time? She must be crazy right. Mum persists and takes me through to my room and I will cry and protest before she even puts me in the cot. Mum then closes the curtains, puts my dummy in and switches on the mobile. Mum then closes the door and says sleep well I will see you in a few hours, when we both know we will be meeting in exactly 2 minutes time. After screaming and crying and fighting it for nearly hour turns out I was tired and I have now gone for a few hours sleep. I have now been asleep for a few hours and mum has just sat down with a hot cup of tea for once so I think now is the perfect time to wake up obviously! After screaming the house down mum came and got me and took me through to the living room where I got out not one but all of the noisy toys, these toys are mums favourite as they all play a different tune and there is always one that doesn't have an on/off switch! I play with the noisy toys for an hour until mum gets sick of them and switches them all off and says it's time to have lunch. Great lunch time, mum will without a doubt put more fruit and vegetables on my plate hoping that I will like cucumber for the 100th time. Mum will spend half an hour in there prepping and making my lunch look pleasing to the eye and I, I will throw it on the floor the second you give it to me and cry until you feed me a yoghurt or two... Mum is now cleaning up the lunch of the floor and I am trying to be helpful by picking up pieces of food and hiding it in all the best places, like under the sofa or in my toys, I can guarantee though mum won't appreciate my help and will tell me off later when she clears under the sofa. It's now the afternoon and I am grouchy and tired but mum says I can't have a sleep now as I won't sleep tonight, I don't know why she says this because she knows I won't sleep anyway. Mum gets out some more toys but this time she gets out the fidely toys such as the Duplo and the building blocks, I don't care for these toys as I am a one year old and I do not have the ability to stack things on top of one and another however what I do have the ability to do is destroy everything mum makes and then I get told off because apparently its not nice to knock down mums tower! I bash a few blocks together and then begin throwing them round the house ensuring that they are scattered about everywhere so that later mum will step on them and start cursing the day they came into the house. Its now about 5 o'clock and mum is trying to make me dinner but I am having none of it, all of sudden I am a clingy and miserable child who just wants to be held, this is also known as the witching hour. I am tired, hungry and I want your undivided attention causing you to almost burn the dinner. Mum makes me dinner and straps me into the high chair and I see that as an opportunity to redecorate the whole room, more food ends up on the floor than in my mouth but by this time mummy has full given up and has shoved something sweet on my tray just so she can have a wee in peace. After dinner comes bath time, I have a love hate relationship with bath time because I love to splash about and play but I hate getting washed, especially my hair and I will scream as if I am being murdered if you get water in my eyes. We get out the bath and mummy spends half an hour fighting to get me dressed as I try and crawl at every opportunity. There is water, talc and sudocream everywhere but I am finally clean and dry. Mum takes me back through to living room where we cuddle on the sofa and watch the CBeebies bedtime hour, I say cuddle but its more like mum trying to cuddle me and me grabbing her hair, glasses and hitting her. We settle down for the evening and mum gives me milk, I make sure to shake the bottle and get milk everywhere particularly on my clean new sleep suit mum just put on. I drink my milk and mum takes me through to my room where I kick and scream and shout about going to bed. Mum persists and puts me in my bed and I throw my dummy out the cot several times so mum has to come back in after half or so I start to become sleepy, I try to fight it but eventually I drift off to sleep. I fall asleep knowing I will wake up several times in the night but thats okay because I think secretly mum likes our 3am catch ups right? I had such a fun filled day and I can't wait to do it all over again, however I think mummy may need some time to recover. This has been the day in the life of a one year old, I hope you have enjoyed it!

The Honest Mum 

xoxo 

My mum life, my mental health and I.

When I found out I was a mum to be,  I couldn't of been more happier you see. A baby of mine to call my own, to love and care for and bring into my home. 9 months went by and I was starting to get excited, to meet my bundle of joy I was so delighted. The day finally came and you made your entrance into the world, a little, happy and healthy baby the most perfect little girl. I took you home and my emotions were high, its just hormones everyone said as I sighed. I cried a lot more over silly little things like the mess of my house and how no ones emptied the bins. I thought nothing off it because I just had a baby and then someone said to me maybe you have post natal depression maybe? Depression oh no, I'm  fine you see, its just my hormones taking over me. Weeks go by and I isolate myself, inside my house it's as quiet as a mouse. Just me and my baby, happy as can be, not talking to anyone or leaving the house regularly. My babies growing up and i am muddling along, starting to feel alone and like I have no one. My favourite time of the day is when my partner comes home so I get some adult conversation and I don't feel so alone, but hes tired and worn from working hard, he just wants to sleep but yet im rambling on, about CBeebies and all of the housework i've done all day, he suggest I go out to a baby group of two, maybe you'll make friends someone to converse with too. I don't need to go out I am fine staying in, besides going out would mean actually leaving the house. The weeks continue on and I am starting to feel blue, there is nothing more that I would like to do than pick up my baby and put her in the buggy and walk to the shop, the park or go out when its sunny. But the thing is now that time has gone on i am finding it hard to keep carrying on, I feel like I can't leave the house alone, its been so long now i feel like that i've fallen into the zone, of feeling anxious every time i have to leave my home, I don't feel comfortable anymore when I'm out all alone. Things start getting worse and I'm on a downward spiral, the house work is being neglected never mind the washing pile. I barley get dressed or even brush my hair, sometimes I shower but even then that is rare. I'm lacking in energy and enthusiasm too, I really do feel ever so blue. But I cannot complain as I am a mum, there is little tiny human who relies on me too much. So I will carry on and solider on through, I will clean all the dishes and clean the loo too. I will push myself to my limits and even then i'll carry on for you, because mummy doesn't matter, its all about you. but what mummy doesn't know is that she can't carry on like this, she can try her very best but it won't last long, soon enough everything will start to go wrong. Mummy will start shouting more and getting stressed, she won't bother with herself and she will never get dressed. She will rarely be happy or show a smile, she may even want to hide away for a while. but that is not healthy and that is not normal, mummy don't hide away life's not awful. You are just struggling now and things will improve please go get help if I only you knew, that life might seem great when you have a baby but if things don't improve after a few weeks then maybe, you have anxiety and depression that will only get worse if you don't seek help, your mental health comes first. You may be a mum and your life may be busy but there is always time to better yourself, before you get in a real tizzy. So before things get worse and you fall in the dark pit of feeling alone and depressed, go get yourself dressed, head down to your doctors and book an appointment. Tell them everything from feeling scared to feeling blue and I promise they will do what they can to help you. A year has gone by and I am finally getting help, a year wasted feeling sad and alone, if only I had known just how bad it can all become, but I am getting the help that I need right now and I hope that one day my baby will be proud of how far i've come but just because I am a mum it doesn't mean I can't be heard or seen.


If anyone out there is struggling please go get help. No one will judge you, and it is for the best. I wish I went and got help sooner because I have wasted a whole year feeling depressed and anxiety riddled and that is a whole year of my life I will never get back. Thanks for reading and I love you all so much.

The Honest Mum 

xoxo