To my partner this Valentine’s Day.

As it is valentines day I decided to dedicate this post to my wonderful and loving partner James and to all the partners out there who's wife or girlfriends have had children and they are feeling like everything has changed.

I'm sorry that I don't kiss you as much anymore even when your late for work and heading out the door, not even one kiss goodbye I wish you could understand why.  When we had a baby everything began to change, my body, my feelings and now things are not quite right and we ever so often begin to fight. We don't get time to kiss and cuddle, now my brains a massive puzzle,  of bottles, nappies and Cbeebies too, I don't even get time to go to the loo. So when you come waltzing in on a night so pleased to see me with such delight, i'm frazzled, worn and tired too I don't have the energy to spend time with you. All I want to do is climb in my bed, catch some Z's and rest my head. The weekends come around and not much has changed its Friday night and life's still the same. Off to bed early to catch 40 winks, oh wait just one minute let me clean the sink. Come up to bed and spend time with me you plea. I will just 5 minutes I haven't cleaned up from tea. The look on your face says it all. I can see your brain working and I can tell what your thinking "Your not the same person your not at all. You don't hug or kiss me or even say you've missed me. We never just spend time as you and me the closest we get is when I'm in the bath and you need a wee!" I'm sorry I say as I put the plates away, I'm tired and worn by the time you get in the door. I've dealt with the kids all day and there's nothing more to say. I know you've been hard and busy at work, but I haven't even had time to put on a clean shirt, while you've been out i've cleaned the house and cared for the kids and i've fed their mouths. So when you get home I want you to know that I have missed you more than you will ever know but sometimes I find it hard to show. You look at me stood their in my pjs, hair a mess and bags under my eyes and you begin to smile which I haven't seen in a while, a cuddle every now and again wouldn't go a miss you say. I'm sure I can do that now come here and give us a kiss. Things may have changed but I am still me, I'm just a tired more busier version you see. But worry yourself not I haven't forgotten you, your my partner and the father of my child and i wouldn't be without you.

The Honest Mum 

xoxo