An open letter to Cbeebies.

Dear Cbeebies,

I love you because you keep my child happy however there are few things you need to know. When my child wakes up at stupid o'clock in the morning and I am forced to start my day early I do not wish to see Mr Tumble dressed as woman at 6am. No one needs to see that, like ever... especially not if they haven't even had a chance to open their eyes fully. Just when you thought Mr Tumble dressed as a woman was bad enough we then have to endure Raa Raa the Noisy lion at 6:45, as you can guess by the title he is lion and he's noisy, too noisy for that time of the morning. After the noisy lion finally clears off its time for double Bing. Nobody asked for this. No parent wants double Bing that early in the morning. We can't deal with the whingey, rude and naughty bunny at the best of times. After the whingey bunny disappears its time for the high light of the day double Hey Duggee, about the only programme that doesn't make me want to bash my head against the wall. A moments later and we are greeted by Justin Fletcher again only this time its Justin's house, because one lot of Justin just wasn't enough. Justin's house been and gone and its now time for a classic, The Teletubbies, the show itself is pretty weird but I could deal with it until you guys decided that it needs a revamp and within the revamp you introduced the tiddly tubbies meaning that the Teletubbies reproduced which is something none of us want to even think about. The Teletubbies finishes and what feels like 5 minutes must of been hours that have flown by because suddenly its the what's on my plate song appearing on the TV sending me into panic mode thinking what the hell am I going to feed my child for lunch, I have only just peeled the last of the breakfast off the floor?! Lunch given to child and its time to watch programmes my child does not give a shit about such as Junk yard rescue, Where in the world and Down on the farm. I mean seriously what child want's to watch real life people, its all about animated ducks and rabbits stealing vegetable and getting into trouble. No child gives a fudge if you've made a bird feeder out of junk, just shove more Hey Duggee on and give the children what they want! Shortly after lunch it's time for another show my child gives no shits about Catie's amazing machines (with the worlds most original theme song!) my child is 11 months old, she doesn't care which is faster a digger or a tractor, and because she gives no f's about your show Catie I am finding myself suffering Bing on Iplayer until your shower of shit show is over! Its now 5 o'oclock and I find myself once again watching Justin Fletcher dressed as woman again, I mean seriously you may as well rename your channel the Justin channel! Gigglebiz over and done with and its time for one of your new programmes which at the beginning I thought was okay but now I find myself wandering round the house singing "I have an idea" and "oops oh no what am I gonna do" and now I want to burn the TV. Finally its the end of the day and the bedtime song has just begun, its time for the weirdness that is Moon and me, which by the way I hate #BringbackAbneyandTeal! The clangers which is bearable and the ever so weird In the night garden. In the night garden itself is enough to put anyone off having children and as I find myself singing upsey daisy here I come I know that I have well and truly lost the plot and its time to switch of the tv. 7pm and I have survived another day of kids tv time to watch adult tv for all of 10 minutes before falling asleep on the sofa. Now Cbeebies I am not saying I don't love you because you serve a purpose and you keep my child happy and for that I am grateful but I also really really hate you. Don't take it personally though I'd pick you over a rude, annoying, muddy puddle jumping little piggy any day of the week. So i'd like to say thanks to Cbeebies for being there for my child at 6am when I am so tired I can't even function, however I long for the day I don't have to suffer Justin Fletcher anymore. Although I may check in for the bedtime stories every now and again... you know just incase any famous faces make another appearance (we all know who I am talking about!)

The Honest Mum 

xoxo

To my partner this Valentine’s Day.

As it is valentines day I decided to dedicate this post to my wonderful and loving partner James and to all the partners out there who's wife or girlfriends have had children and they are feeling like everything has changed.

I'm sorry that I don't kiss you as much anymore even when your late for work and heading out the door, not even one kiss goodbye I wish you could understand why.  When we had a baby everything began to change, my body, my feelings and now things are not quite right and we ever so often begin to fight. We don't get time to kiss and cuddle, now my brains a massive puzzle,  of bottles, nappies and Cbeebies too, I don't even get time to go to the loo. So when you come waltzing in on a night so pleased to see me with such delight, i'm frazzled, worn and tired too I don't have the energy to spend time with you. All I want to do is climb in my bed, catch some Z's and rest my head. The weekends come around and not much has changed its Friday night and life's still the same. Off to bed early to catch 40 winks, oh wait just one minute let me clean the sink. Come up to bed and spend time with me you plea. I will just 5 minutes I haven't cleaned up from tea. The look on your face says it all. I can see your brain working and I can tell what your thinking "Your not the same person your not at all. You don't hug or kiss me or even say you've missed me. We never just spend time as you and me the closest we get is when I'm in the bath and you need a wee!" I'm sorry I say as I put the plates away, I'm tired and worn by the time you get in the door. I've dealt with the kids all day and there's nothing more to say. I know you've been hard and busy at work, but I haven't even had time to put on a clean shirt, while you've been out i've cleaned the house and cared for the kids and i've fed their mouths. So when you get home I want you to know that I have missed you more than you will ever know but sometimes I find it hard to show. You look at me stood their in my pjs, hair a mess and bags under my eyes and you begin to smile which I haven't seen in a while, a cuddle every now and again wouldn't go a miss you say. I'm sure I can do that now come here and give us a kiss. Things may have changed but I am still me, I'm just a tired more busier version you see. But worry yourself not I haven't forgotten you, your my partner and the father of my child and i wouldn't be without you.

The Honest Mum 

xoxo